Kamal F. Ishak

Beating the wife in Islam

 

Beating the Wife in Islam

 

(Sura IV, v. 34) “Men are the tutors protectors and maintainers of women, as God has given some of them an advantage over others, and because they spend out of their wealth. The good women are obedient, guarding what God would have them guard. As for those from whom you fear disloyalty, admonish them, and EH'JERUHONA abandon them in their beds, then strike them. But if they obey you, seek no way against them. God is Sublime, Great.”.

 

In the biased versions of the translations of the verse in English, they write what means "Men are in charge of women" instead of "Men are the Tutors of women". However, the worst thing of all is when they write "abandon them alone in their beds" instead of "EH'JERUHONA in their beds" or instead of the real interpretive translation of the word EH'JERUHONA, i.e. "bind them strictly in their beds", as explained by the right exegesis.

 

Regarding the arabic word “EH’JERUHONA”.

We read from Exegesis of Tabari:

The arabic verb HAJAR has three meanings in the language of the Arabs: 

- Abandonment, refusal to speak with somebody and sick leaving him,

- Delirious speaking, hallucinating,

- Fastening, as tying up the camel with HEJAR, i.e. a rope connecting the leg with fixed place.

Allah ordered the husband of  woman of whom he fears her rebellion to admonish her first, to induce her to obey him as he ask her to subdue a sexual relationship. It is unacceptable that a woman disobeys the command of Allah concerning submission to her husband in that matter, and then the man is to be ordered just to abandon her (i.e. when the sermon is useless).

Then EH’JERUHONA in their beds cannot mean “abandon intercourse with her”.

On the other hand, “refusal to speak with her” is not acceptable, because Allah has said through “His Prophet” that it is not permissible for a Muslim to forsake another Muslim for more than three days. Abandonment to speak to her does not make sense also, as if she is defiantly disobedient, she would be pleased not speak to him, and not to see him. So, how the man is ordered to leave intercourse with her or to speak to her while he is ordered to beat her in order to discourage her disobedience?

Subsequently, the right meaning of EH’JERUHONA is tying up her with HEJAR (i.e. with a rope) to the bed structure. (Tabari).

 

In conclusion, the sentence of the Koran "and EH’JERUHONA in their beds and beat them" means “tie up the woman with  ropes, strictly in bed, then beat her to have sex with in spite of her malevolence!

 

There is what confirms that.

(Ibn Abbas) "and EH’JERUHONA in their beds and beat them" means to tie them to beds, then and beat them till they obey; if a woman obeys in the bed allowing coitus, he should not punish her anymore. (Exegesis of Tabari).

 

Islamic HISTORICAL BACKGROUND of beating women.

The beginning was the complaint of the women beaten by men.

(IYAS ibn ‘Abdullah ibn Abu DHUBAB) “Allah’s Messenger” said: Do not beat Allah's handmaidens (women folk). A time after, Omar came to the Prophet and said: Oh “Allah’s Messenger”, women have become emboldened towards their husbands, so allow us to beat them. The Prophet gave permission to beat them, so, they were beaten (when permission was granted). Upon this many groups of women went round the family of Muhammad, complaining against their husbands. When it was morning, he, the Prophet said: Seventy women went round my family of this night. Every woman was making a complaint against her spouse. You will not find them the best among you. (Ibn-MAJAH, n. 1985) - (Abu DAWOUD n. 2141).

The last sentence refers to the men that beat the women.

In explaining the Sunnah: The islamic jurisprudence gives the permission of beating women in case of dissension of coitus. The prohibition against beating women ordered by the Prophet was likely before the revelation of this verse. When the women become emboldened, he authorized beating them and the Quran was revealed agreeing with him.

We have some details concerning the licensing of beating women.

(HASSAN) A man slapped his wife and she complained about him to the Prophet. Her family who went with her said: Oh “Messenger of Allah”! So-and-so has slapped our girl. The Prophet kept saying: Retaliation! Retaliation! And there is no other judgement to be held. But then this verse (Men are in charge of women…) was revealed and the Prophet said: We wanted something and Allah wanted something else.

(ALY) A man from al-Ansar came with a woman to the Prophet, then the woman said: O “Allah’s Messenger”! Her husband who was known as so and so from al-Ansar had hit her and that had affected her face." The Prophet replied: "He should not have done that. Then, the verse “men are the tutors of women”, as far as discipline is concerned, was revealed. Therefore, the Prophet said: You wanted something and Allah wanted something else. (Ibn Mardawaih) - (NESA’I).

(MUQATIL) This verse “Men are tutors of women…” was revealed about Sa‘d ibn al-RABI‘E, who was one of the leaders of the Helpers (nuqaba’), and his wife Habibah, both of whom from the Helpers. It happened that Sa‘d hit his wife on the face because she rebelled against him. Then her father went with her to the Prophet, he said to him: I gave him my daughter in marriage and he slapped her. The Prophet said: Let her have retaliation against her husband. As she was leaving with her father to execute retaliation, the Prophet called them back and said: Come back; Gabriel has come to me, and Allah revealed this verse. The “Messenger of Allah” said: We wanted something while Allah wanted something else, and that which Allah wants is good. Retaliation was then suspended. (Exegesis of QURTOBI).

 

It's favoritism.

SA‘D ibn al-RABI‘E was one of "captains", i.e. those who summoned Muhammad from Mecca to Yathrib, it was a flattery that burdened on all the Muslim women account till now.

It follows from the above the so-called "women's right on her husband!

 

(HAKIM ibn Muawiyah from his father) A man asked the Prophet about the woman's rights ton her husband. The Prophet said : He have to feed her if he eats, to dress her if he clothes himself, not to beat her face; and not castigate or fasten her but only at home. (Abu Dawoud) - (NISA’I).

We note that rebuking or fastening her can only be done in the house, while abandonment can be done anywhere!

We have another text of the same tradition.

(Muawiyah ibn HEIDA) I said: Oh “Messenger of Allah”, what we should give and how should we treat our wives? He said: Your wives are a place of ploughing for you, so plough however wherever you wish, but do not hit the face, castigate or fasten her only in the house; feed her if you eat and enclothe her if you you do for yourself. You have intimate relationship with her as a duty Allah prescribed on her. (Musnad Ahmad).

(HASSAN) If a woman rebels, the husband should admonish her with his tongue, if she do not accept, he can hit beat her not severely, if she insists, He have the right to take what you want form her and to leave her afterwards.

“He have the right to take what you want form her” means forcing her to achieve his islamic privilege of coitus.

 

As for legitimate reasons to strike women:

(Omar) The Prophet said: A man will not be asked as to why he beat his wife. (Abu-DAWOUD, n. 2142).

(ASH’ATH ibn QAIS) One night Omar arranged a feast. When it was midnight, he got up and went towards his wife to beat her. I separated them both. When he went to bed, he said to me, "O ASH’ATH, preserve from me a thing that I heard from “Allah’s Messenger”. (These things are): A man will not be taken to task for beating his wife and do not sleep without observing WITR prayer." I forgot the third (exhortation).(Ibn-MAJAH, n. 1986).

They can be beaten for any reason. It also can be understood from the following hadith:

(Ibn ABBAS) The Prophet said: Hang up your scourge where your wife can see it, it is an intimidation to her. (Kash-shaf of Zamkhshari) - (TABARANI) - (Collection of Abdel-RAZ’ZAQ).

Muslims says that women should be beaten slightly, and use the excuse Koranic text.

(Surah XXXVIII, v. 43-44) “And We gave him his wife, ...(43)

And take in your hand a bundle of fresh bough of tree and strike therewith (your wife) ... (44)."

And interpretations belie the claim of Muslims, because the text speaks of the Qur’anic Prophet Ayoub!

They introduce also a tradition of their “Messenger of Allah”.

(Amr ibn al-Ahwas) The “Messenger of Allah” delivered a sermon and he said: Beware, I command to you to be good with the women, for, they are only (like) prisoners with you. You own nothing else over them besides that except that if they commit indecency openly, you may fasten them to beds and beat them, a simple beating. So, if they submit to you then do not look out for ways to hurt them. Beware, you have rights over your wives and your wives have rights over you. As for your rights over your wives, they should not allow on your beds those whom you detest, and allow not in your homes those whom you detest. Beware, of their rights over you, do good to them in matters of their dress and their food”. (Termidhi n. 1166) - [Ibn Majah, n. 1851]

We note that infidelity is not entitled for women only.

Another interview explains "not severely beaten".

 

(Abdullah ibn ZAM’A) The Prophet said : None of you should flog his wife as he flogs a slave and then have sexual intercourse with her in the last part of the day. (Bukhari, vol. 7, n.132).

 

 

MUSLIMS’ DEFENSE OF WIFE BEATING 

(adapted from SILAS essay, abridged and modified)

 

We’ll take a look at some of their mitigations.

 

Excuse 1) "The Quran allows her to divorce if she feels she cannot work out the relationship".

At first glance this sounds tolerable. 

In fact, getting a divorce is so difficult to obtain, it is next to impossible in most Islamic countries. Women who ask divorce will not obtain any finances from their husbands. Furthermore, in Islamic society a divorced woman is shamed. She is used goods. Getting re-married will be very challenging.

 

Excuse 2) "The Islamic system for wife beating is perfect, the real problem is that the guidelines for wife beating are not followed by the Muslim men. If everything were done according to the rules then it would be fine".

 These so-called "Islamic guidelines" are a coward’s way for dealing with normal marriage difficulties. "Spousal abuse" by any other name should still be as cruel.

 

Excuse 3) "she made me do it."

Does that make any sense? 

This is ass-backward thinking and the Muslim’s statement above shows the depravity in the Islamic mind. They are willing to grasp at any excuse to justify Muhammad.

 

Excuse 4) "The husband must beat her lightly". 

We have confuted this claim upwards.